The X-Men Files

Issue 158: A grounded story about regular people

We talk about Obama hanging out in our closet, the private lives of public politicians, a thin argument against libertarianism and Inessa finally learns what a mutant is.

Issue 157: The Brood is for closers only

This one is action packed! We cover Alec Baldwin, SLP taping speed for VHS cassettes, the appeal of murder/suicide, how Nightcrawler doesn't get enough credit for packing a punch and - most significantly - just how much fun it is to watch a smoking clown. You don't want to miss this one!

Issue 156: Was the Earth destroyed nearly 40 years ago?

A gripping recap is followed by a conversation about lots of comics that AREN'T the X-Men. We get back on track with a discussion of the thematic themes in this issue and superhero stories generally. We also learn who our favorite X-Men characters are!

Issue 155: Fighting with frenemies

The audio for this one is good, I promise! The issue is also back on track. We meet the Shi'ar, one of Brian's favorite alien societies. We learn that Professor X is really more of a concubine than a fiance, Kitty has fun with clothes, you can't just walk around dressed up as a space pirate, even in Manhattan and we get our first look at the Brood! This is a nice one. We didn't even swear!

Issue 154: The fight scene is almost as bad as the audio

Full disclosure: the audio for this one is terrible. I don't know what happened. Happily, subpar audio is matched with a subpar issue. Corsair is back, but not much else happens. Even I might not want to listen to this one.

Issue 153: Naughty Bedtime Stories

To help Ilyana fall asleep, Kitty tells a story in which a character named Kitty is a asleep and having an erotic dream. It's a night time Roman à clef! The X-Men play themselves, with a special guest appearance from Dark Phoenix. Brian talks about how stories tell the story of people telling stories to other stories, but he really just wishes that he could listen to  Sherman Hemsley tell stories.

Issue 152: The Hellfire Club is basically the Girl Scouts

Mind swapping and body horror! When's the ideal time to kill Hitler? The Girl Scouts, the Illuminati and the Hellfire Club are all basically the same thing! Also, weather will always rip the clothes right off of you, and we talk about leotards!

Issue 151: Touching the weather with someone else's body

This is a great one! Kitty leaves Xavier's school, Ororo and Emma Frost have a significant encounter, Peter wears a Speedo, we encounter a preppy, and Brian explains to his Jewish wife why he's uncomfortable using the word "Jewish".

Issue 150: He's got some good ideas

How do we cram a double-sized issue into a single-sized episode? Easy! We record when Brian is in a bad mood. Bad mood or not, we can't resist the allure of silver fox Magneto and his, actually, not-all-that-crazy ideas. We also learn that Tolkien doesn't create good villains, but Don Draper is even worse than Tony Soprano. 

The X-Men Files go to the movies!

We all saw 2020's The X-Men on Saturday night and we're here with our thoughts. First, though, we waste a lot of time talking about what happened and where we were living in July 2020! It's boring and no one cares! But, we do get to the film, which we both agree is not bad and has played a significant role in helping craft the comics-heavy world we live in.

Issue 149: And the living shall be bored to death

I'm not gonna lie to you, folks. This is a difficult one. We hit a series low point as the X-Men travel to the southern hemisphere armed with flashlights. They kill time waiting for issue 150 where big things are going to happen. We assume. Meanwhile, if you want to enjoy yourselves for a couple hours, do yourself a favor and watch Flash Gordon. That movie is awesome.

Issue 148: Why is any of this happening?

An issue with both a lot and a little going on. Cyclops and Lee have a ridiculous fight, Banshee meets his daughter after conducting some small engine repair, Moira is mad, and, uh ... Spider Woman?! That's all before we even get to the action where a deranged hermit with magic gloves makes us feel bad for being the cool kids. Nice early 80's clothes for all the women, though!

Issue 147: Put some clothes on her!

The new, newy, newish musical music, our first use of the 80's stinger and we both wish that our heroines had more clothes on.

Issue 146: Even worse than the real Space Mountain

Walt Disney is a terrible person! The DCU can't hold a candle to the MCU no matter how much we focus! Space Mountain is a terrible ride! Counterpoint: it isn't!

Issue 145: Stormy Doom

A week after we meet the Fantastic Four, we meet the FF's arch-nemesis: Doctor Doom! The Latverian monarch formerly known as Orderly Doom menaces our heroes. But first, we visit Lincoln Center and groove some awesome 70's fashion!

Annual 5: Storming the castle with a shawarma scene

We celebrate Mother's Day and almost immediately start tossing around a crass bit of slang. We meet the Fantastic Four, and Brian talks about how tremendous the Invisible Woman is. We storm the castle, eat some shawarma and coin a couple terms of our own.

Issue 144: Up with hope!

In which we talk about the best weapon against despair, the weird history of the Man-Thing, using super powers for home repair, and why Brian loves it when children get teased!

Issue 143: Home Alone ... with Monsters!

We talk about comparative religion, strong heroines, the Alien movie franchise and we do it all with a big E rating slapped on the episode! We bid a fond farewell to thigh-loving Canadian, John Byrne and look forward to some new artists!

Issue 142: The past is prologue

We conclude our discussion of the classic Days of Future Past. Speaking of time, this week we switch to recording in the morning! Crossbows make excellent murder weapons!

Issue 141: Days of Future Present

Our past is someone else's future, and the past future has its own past that's trying to change the future, but not OUR future. Also, Kitty calls herself Kate when she grows up - a thing which happened either years ago or years from now.